Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Doubt in the forecast

Matthew 8:26 Jesus responded, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm ~

Having lived on purely faith in the last 3 years, its hard to believe when I catch myself doubting my Lord. I love Matthew 8:25, even Jesus own disciples got scared and the first thing they did was yell "Save us!". It shows me that these men trusted and gave up their former lives to follow Jesus, yet they basically doubted when the storm hit who He even is. Matthew 8:27 says this :the men marveled saying, "who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" How did they NOT know? It's comforting for me to know we are all just human, we all have times of fear and doubt.
As I pray, I catch myself at times doubting that the Lord will actually do what I ask. What is that about anyway? I would never go to my boss and put myself out there to ask for something I didn't really think she would agree to help me with. It would be embarrassing to be told "no" for me, and I sure don't want that. Maybe we only ask for what we know we can get because we are just so afraid of being let down or embarrassed. Sometimes I catch myself praying like this "Lord please help me with this problem, but if you don't I know it's your will." okay, why ask if I don't believe He is ready, willing and able to DO IT ?  For me I think I feel safe expecting the worst possible outcome, that way I avoid being totally let down.

Today, I got a faith wake up call. Today, God really showed up and He really showed out big time. Something I, along with countless others, have been praying for day and night happened today in the way I begged for it to, but I'm not sure I fully expected it to. When the prayer was answered I felt like God said "SEE" and immediately "ye of little faith" came to my mind.
Sometimes when we pray it may not be God's will, but we can't know that. We need to speak the things we want to be true and believe that God can and will make it true. We can't know Gods plan, that's probably never been more evident. We can't know why horrible things happen. That's why we have to just focus on what we do know. We can know that He wants a relationship with us, He loves us and wants us to ask for what we want. No, we don't always get it the way we want it. That's just part of life and learning I suppose, but sometimes, we DO get what we ask. How do we know until we ask?

I know horrible things are going on in the world right now.  People are selfish, and crazy. Innocent children are killed everyday, women are raped and murdered, pointless war's are going on all over the world. Tornado's, and tsunami's are claiming innocent lives and crushing entire community's. I can't even turn on the TV without my heart breaking. Tragedy seems to strike at every turn. Sometimes I can't even catch my breath and get myself together before the news shows the next awful disaster, be it natural or not. All these things are enough to cause us to constantly doubt God's plan. I don't have the answers for why God allows such horrendous things, and I never will have the answers. I'm not a pastor, or a bible teacher. I'm just a mom who see's pain everywhere, I also SEE love. I saw love when those teachers put themselves over those kids in Moore, OK yesterday to shield them from the tornado's wrath. I saw love when countless people showed up in Newtown, CT to show support to the grief stricken families of evil I can't fathom. I saw love in NY after 9/11 that continues to amaze me. Bad things happen and they will probably continue to happen, but God can and He will use it for good. I see good and I see love anytime I stop and look for it. I have seen God show up in the darkest places at the perfect time. Like that George Strait song (oh how I love king George) "I saw God today" I did SEE God today. For that I will continue to Praise Him in the storm. This storm and storms that are surely headed our way.

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