Monday, February 2, 2015

Dear Nationwide

~James 5:11
We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and mercy. ~

For anyone who has read any of my thoughts in the past, this blog will be a tad different from my others, this is more of a heart felt rant from a broken and offended mother of a child in Heaven. Though Nationwide will never read my words and are oblivious to the pain their thoughtless commercial caused (google nationwide superbowl commercial) , it's TO them, but it's FOR all the parents like me whose child left this world way to soon due to "Accident". 
God bless us all and help us fight the feelings of guilt and live only for the day we SEE what it all meant, the day the Lord holds us and says "you did nothing wrong, my plan is my plan." Please know that He Is the Great "I AM." He has always been and will always will be, he knew our children's names even while we dug through baby books trying to find the perfect name, he knew the hairs on their heads and he loved them like only our maker can love. With God, there are no surprises. He sustains the broken. He sustains me, even now when I'm hurt and angry. 

Lets start by understanding Websters definition of "Accident". 
noun: accident; plural noun: accidents
an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury.

First for those who don't know, we lost a child in a tragic accident (see def above). These are my thoughts on Nationwide Insurance's commercial during the super bowl last night. 
I honestly only watched the commercial one time. One time is all it took to make my blood boil. Honestly, I don't know what was worse, the commercial or all the comments and shares I have seen by all those perfect parents who feel like these "things" would not happen if we would WATCH OUR KIDS. "Raise awareness" they say. Awareness. Of what? that cars speed and kids get in the way?  Maybe one day I'll get the honor of meeting such parents, perfection must be hard to maintain in a fallen world but kudos to you for having your kids here due to your amazing parenting skills. Too bad i can't turn back the clock and take some pointers. 

After the anger and "how dare they!" wore off, the sadness hit me like a tidal wave. People think that we are bad parents, they do. Is that not what you saw on the commercial and on the shares of people praising the commercial? They think that we, who have kids in Heaven via Accidents were not watching our kids and an accident took their life because we are bad parents.

Nationwide says they are trying to raise awareness and give out a wake up call, I can't help but ponder a few things. Do you think the "bad" parents took notice and made like an immediate and  considerable change to their parenting style due to that commercial? Maybe, but I doubt it. Mostly that commercial just slapped the grief stricken parent in the face. Hard.
What qualifies someone as good parent anyway, those who have super power and can literally keep their kids safe 24/7? Those are the good ones, they have to be, you know why? Because their kids are still here, their kids get to catch cooties and grow up ! Wish I had been more like that.......a good parent. One who watched my child. 

Truth is None of us are perfect. NOT ONE OF US, and accidents happen ( again, see definition of "accident provided above). All kids make bad choices and yes we need to be there to guide those choices, but we can't be there 100% of the time. Its just not possible. Kids are curious, they are mischievous, they dis obey when we tell them not to run, they do. They are KIDS. Most kids have zero ability to make a "good" decision until they are like, what, 25? They will run into the street after a ball and even if you are watching and yelling they can still be hit by a car. It happens that fast, trust me. Kids hide when they are told not too and get themselves into a hard spot causing an accidental death, you can't SEE a hiding child, hence why its called HIDING and how is causes an ACCIDENT. Mischievous, remember? Kids take baths, they are dirty and parents are trying to do 4745950584 things and bathe them, they can drown in an inch of water, in literally the blink of eye that's all it takes to drown people. Did you know an adult can drown even when they can swim, what about a child then? Yep, its true. Can your child swim fully clothed in case they fall into a pool ?  Count with me 1,2,3,4,5 an accident can happen that fast. Did you blink? 

Fellow mom's and dad's who have kids in Heaven due to accidents. I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to you, I'm refusing to believe the lie Satan and society will have me believe, that I'm a bad parent because of our son's accident. These ACCIDENTS do not make us bad parents, judgmental people make bad parents. I love my son more than the air I breathe, obviously I would change the moment he went to Heaven, but I can't. I would gladly take his place but I can't. None of us can. While Nationwide spent millions of dollars making a commercial that  has slapped parents who have lost children in the face.  Countless other judgmental and hopefully well meaning parents have shared it with snarky heading's such as "watch your kids people!" and "Its great awareness to save a child!" yea, or not. Again, see the definition of "Accident" see the words "unexpected" and "unintentional". Those are key words. Are there no better choices to make commercials about? How about one concerning parents who intentionally hurt a child, abuse and neglect their child, smoking crack while pregnant, etc?? Or better yet, stick to selling insurance and not kicking heartbroken parents when they are already down.

We are NOT bad parents. Love to you all tonight and prayers for all the tidal waves of judgement passed either intentionally or non intentionally. Words hurt, no matter how much we don't want them too, we will always be tender. We are, after all, living without our child.