Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Joining the unthinkable "Grief Journey"

Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

This verse rings more true for those who have suffered and have somehow managed to see the light of day again. Not only are we instructed to bear one another's burdens, I believe that when we have battled pure evil and lived in that pit fighting for air, we are changed. If we allow it, God changes us. We not only want to help other's in bearing their burdens, but we also FEEL their burdens as our own to a point. The ability for us is not only to sympathize, but we now empathize, like it or not, we are one in our suffering. For some of us the hurt for them runs so deep that it causes us to flash back to our own time of brokenness. This is never more true than when another parent joins this awful club of parents living without their child, waiting for answers that will never come. We understand that gut wrenching sorrow and we remember it all to well. We remember it and at times our own sorrow and grief threaten to swell again as we grieve so hard for those just starting this journey. 

I was recently asked the dreaded question that every mom beginning this journey wants to know...."How long will I feel this way?" there is no answer for that. There is absolutely no correct way to grieve your child. It breaks my heart to not be able to give a time frame or directions for such intense pain, its the worst, most unpredictable pain in this world. For a broken bone or any physical wound there is medication and a time frame such as "If all goes well we can remove the cast in 6 weeks." With spiritual pain, there is no medication and no time frame to look forward to the pain letting up. I have been amazed on this journey at how different we all grieve. I have seen parents do and say things that I could not do in the midst of my own grief. I have seen parents seem to grasp very early that God is with them and they seem to never really drown in the pain, like I did. I have seen others farther than us into their own grief journey who seem so lost and angry. Grief is not a one size fits all and it would be great if we could all try to grasp that, myself included. 

Our small town has suffered another loss, the loss of a child who had to say goodbye way before his family was ready. A beautiful little boy whose short life will leave an eternal imprint on the hearts of all who grieve him. A child who ran through the gates of Heaven with the speed of lightening, and with an all knowing spirit. A child who would not change a thing about his short life even that it ended too soon. There is not a soul in Heaven who would come back, not one. That does not make our time here without them any easier, but for me, knowing my son would never choose this broken world over the Heaven he now calls home makes me more eager to get there too. My prayer is that this family be comforted with the peace that only God can give, no words can bring comfort like the Holy Spirit. The spirit is all knowing, only He knows how to comfort us as individually as our grief is. 

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

When you pray for others, and you can't find the words, pray this scripture. I know I will, and for all of us who have traveled this journey before this family may we share the words the Lord gives us to build them up. May we not stay down to long in our own grief flashbacks and may we always come back stronger from our grief "flashbacks" I love you all more than words. This life won't last forever, we must keep our focus on Jesus, we must be sure of our salvation and we must keep chasing Jesus until He returns.
Please know that when I write these blogs, its more to myself than to anyone else. I always pray that not my own words be used but that the Lord Himself use me to comfort others as He has comforted me, He WILL use our prayers so please keep sending them up. 

To the Caubble family, I hate that you are traveling this road, but you have many warriors interceding in prayer for you. We who have traveled before you are praying as only we who FEEL your pain can. 

Hebrews 10:23-25 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Unfortunately our town has many parents who understand this pain all to well, we are all praying for you as only we can. Here is a little tribute to some our sweet hometown babies who now live in Heaven and to their parents. May we as parents left behind be a living testament to how prayer works to sustain a broken heart. Until we meet again sweet babies, you are missed every minute of everyday.  

                                                                             Jackson Orman

Maddox Yarbrough 



                                                                Tatum Caubble

                                                                 Shelby Ratilff

Lawson Lovell

 Wes and Wilson

Todd Nix 

John Hayden

 Samuel Cox