Saturday, July 13, 2013

Loving by example

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.

My heart is heavy with thoughts of all the people I pray for daily. I have been thinking so much about them and the circumstances surrounding a few of them in particular. Two couples come to my mind immediately. One is a woman who is fighting for her life, another a man. Both fighting cancer and both fighting to live. Both of these people have the most precious God given spouses anyone could ask for.
As I pray for the sick ones, I find myself thinking about the position the spouse is in. They want so badly to make it all go away so they don't have to consider not growing old with the one they love so much. They can't "do" anything, what a horrible, helpless feeling. I cannot imagine having to sit on my hands and wait for someone else to tell me if they can heal my husband so we can continue our lives together. Having no choice but to leave the future of their lives together in the hands of God almighty and the doctors has got to be just to much. As most people say they would do anything for their children, we should feel the same about our spouses. I would do anything for my husband and he has done close to the same for me. No, I can't say it has always been that way. Marriage is hard, its just HARD. Its a full time job, and lots of people treat it like a job and when they grow tired of it they quit.
I pray not to step on toes here, but this is something I feel I need to say. There are many people that I know who take their spouse and their beautiful lives together for granted. why on earth does it take a personal tragedy to bring some people close? I have no idea, but that is what happened for my marriage. Losing Jackson shook us to our core. As the foundation we built as a family crumbled and the dust cleared we were left standing together and stronger than ever. I credit that fully to God, there is no marriage that can survive what we have and continue to grow and thrive without Christ. I cannot imagine my life without my Josh, and that makes my prayers for my friends so much more real. No marriage is perfect because no human is perfect.
I want us all to thrive in our marriages, grow in true love and respect while we can. It should not take such tragedy as it did for me to SEE and appreciate what I truly have.
My husband and I both come from divorced families. So I speak with an honest heart when I say I fully understand that some divorce cannot be helped. For some families divorce can be turned into a blessing as was the case for my family. I would not have a father and my children would not have a grandpa if not for my parents divorce and her marriage to the man who raised me. I only wish that before some couples made the choice to chase what they believe to be happiness that they could see through my friends eyes. SEE through eyes and hearts that suffer for the ones they love before choosing another route. My friends want nothing more than to see their spouse live, to live the life they had planned on their wedding day. Maybe if your reading this you will try and SEE what you have. See your spouse for who they are and make the choice to love them. Love is not always (or ever, ;-) ) butterflies and Hallmark channel romance. Its work and its hard and it's beautifully messed up. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we wonder why we married this person in the first place (because obviously we are perfect and they are blind ), sometimes we just get tired of trying. In my opinion, most of all, marriage is worth every second of hard work you put into it. After all, the Lord himself thinks enough of marriage that we will all one day be the bride of Christ!
Please keep my friends and all the other people out there watching the ones they love suffer in your prayers. Pray that God will heal and restore them and that the people watching will SEE what love and being a servant really is by watching these precious families. May all our awful struggles bring glory to our savior. And may God restore all of our marriages and make us SEE what really  matters.

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