Wrestling for a blessing

Genesis 32:24-26  So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

This is one of my very favorite scriptures. Man how I have wrestled, now I get to share how I got SEE what we may look like when we wrestle our savior…...always remember that to wrestle another person, you must be intimate. They are in your space and you are all in theirs. 

I used to feel like there were times that I was physically wrestling with God, I just would not let go of my pain and let him do his job to take care of me the way only He can. Have you ever had that struggling/ wrestling feeling, like your trying to get God to listen and he’s just not DOING anything? If you like me you may just get so restless waiting that  you get mad and lash out at others, or even God himself. Maybe it’s mentally lashing out and pleading for Him to hear you and act. Maybe you just throw punches in the air from total exhaustion and frustration from pleading with your savior who loves you but is obviously not listening, or worse, doesn't care about your pain and struggle.

There are times that I pray about something and plead with God to intervene. I say amen, and then I take the request right back by continuing to try and “fix” it my own way (because His way is taking way to long). My emotional pain can be so intense at times that I can’t for the life of me understand how the Jesus I know and love lets me suffer so intensely and doesn’t “do” anything. Let’s face it, at times God just doesn’t move fast enough for me so I need to keep trying to help him do his job. I want to share a beautiful image God gave me this week with you in case you too wonder “where ARE YOU Lord!??” when you are broken and hurting. Please know that there are no words adequate to explain the love and beauty I felt and saw when God put this image in my head....

I was Praying for several friends who need God to intervene in their lives. One in particular is battling cancer and it seems like every time she gets good news, something else happens to pile on the pain and suffering. I got the feeling to pray very specifically, like God was saying to me “be intentional, pray specifically” So I prayed this “Lord, let her feel you near, let her feel your heavenly breath on her face because you are holding her so tight. She needs to know you are there, she is struggling and needs you to hold her tight and not let go.” Then the vision flooded my thoughts. I saw Jesus standing behind her holding her, her feet were off the ground he was holding her so tight and she was kicking but could not get away because her arms were held down in a very tight embrace. She struggled and he held her, he was nowhere near letting go of her. I could feel the love he has for her, the fact that he wanted her to know he never let go even while she wrestled and fought all that is happening to her.

In true form to my nature, there was obviously music to this vision. It came instantly like back ground music to one of the most beautiful, intimate scenes I have ever witnessed. The most haunting beautiful lyrics to share all who feel the waters are rising too fast. I know the vision of my friend being embraced in the midst of a horrible struggle was shown to me to share with her, but He also wanted me (and you) to see that he held me the same way. He still holds me the same way. The song “Oceans” plays in my head on a constant repeat, let it play in yours as well. Here it is.

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine